\u2666 The first and most crucial need- hunger<\/span>. Teens eat a lot. They\u2019re very often hungry. That causes them to be irritable, impatient, and very negative to their surroundings. That\u2019s why the first thing is making sure they get the amount of food they need, and that food will always be accessible. I can\u2019t describe how important that is and what difference that makes. Don\u2019t close that corner with snacks, but try as much as possible to make it healthy and nutritious food.<\/p>\n \u2666 Sleep-<\/span> almost like hunger, when a teens are tired or don\u2019t get as much sleep as they need, the whole environment. And it\u2019s not fun. Hence- do your best to make sure they sleep properly. In our house, a day after a Chelsea match (that happened very late at night) doesn\u2019t look like a day in which the 16 years old slept properly. Especially if they lost.<\/p>\n \u2666 Hygiene<\/span>– very much dependent on every person\u2019s personality, the way I feel, that\u2019s a need that you need to think less on, but if you have a teen that is sensitive to the subject- it\u2019s very important to make sure he\u2019s as comfortable as possible, even in Southeast Asia, even in India, even in an old local bus. And maybe that\u2019s actually an opportunity to work on the subject, to allow them to get used to slightly less comfortable conditions, develop flexibility and an immunity to it. Talk about it, get prepare and don\u2019t ignore.<\/p>\n \u25ca Pimples- products for face cleaning are everywhere, including soaps, creams, and salves. Can also find naturals. I buy for them the organic product (in the organic shop in Pokhara, Nepal) and remind them to use it when I see a need for it (which doesn\u2019t happen often)<\/p>\n \u25ca Female hygiene- can find almost anywhere, but it\u2019s important to make sure you always have it accessible. If the teen got stuck, forgot, just took the wrong bag- have a spare roll. Always.<\/p>\n Emotional needs:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u2666 Privacy<\/span>– the average teenager needs his privacy. In my opinion that\u2019s one of the most critical points when traveling with teens, because their difficulty is very real, authentic, and very pressing. All day spent with the family (something that is simply illegal when you\u2019re a teenager\u2026), stuck in the same car with them, or the same hotel room, everyone has to go to the same places all the time, all the meals are eaten together, and if that\u2019s not enough, they have to pretend that they\u2019re actually enjoying it, because it\u2019s a vacation after all.<\/p>\n They don\u2019t enjoy it.<\/p>\n They don\u2019t like it.<\/p>\n And we are never going to change that. What I do<\/span>:<\/p>\n ? When it comes to packing first of all- their own bag (I don\u2019t have my own bag\u2026), with all their stuff, without any adult supervision what-so-ever, to give them complete responsibility and privacy over their own things.<\/p>\n ? When possible I get them their own rooms. I try to balance between periods where they have to share a room with their siblings and relaxed periods where they have their own room. Surprise them with their own room and you\u2019ll see how easily you made one soul in this world happy.<\/p>\n ? The subject needs to be \u2018on the table\u2019, talked about. So that when they feel the need for privacy they can feel comfortable enough to tell you, and to know that there is someone that understands and accepts it. Even in a one week vacation.<\/p>\n ? And more than that- sometimes I go to them myself and tell them of a place I saw that might interest them, suggest a restaurant with food I know they\u2019ll love (and suggest they go alone or in a constellation that works for them), or an activity they like (\u201cyou know, when I walked with Gali to the beach I saw on the way a group playing basketball\u2026 it\u2019s really near here\u201d).<\/p>\n ? I give them freedom in everything regarding family meals. If they prefer to stay home alone for a bit, while we all go to eat I cooperate and simply bring them some take-away. Or if they prefer sitting at a separate table (yes yes\u2026 teenagers) I don\u2019t make a big deal out of it. Free on the house. When they do decide to sit with us I always mention how nice it is for me\uf04a.<\/p>\n ? Pictures- I have one that hates having his pictures taken and one that takes selfies all day. I don\u2019t argue. So much so that sometimes people ask me where is my son and if he even travels with us. As much as it pains me that he doesn\u2019t let me document him, I respect his wishes. On some rare occasions I try to convince him that he should, just sometimes, document some of the moments he goes through, just for the memories. Sometimes I even succeed.<\/p>\n \u2666 Independence<\/span>– the travel is an excellent opportunity to sharpen their independence skills, let them try new experiences on their own. Deal with new environmental conditions. This can be an experience that hugely increases their self-confidence, if and especially if your private teenager has some social difficulties or is going through a tough time.<\/p>\n ? Let them walk around on their own, go buy something for everyone, look for and ask for information, pay for services, and go shopping all alone.<\/p>\n ? let them taste and try the experiences that the place you\u2019re at provides. From conversations in a new language, with people from different places all over the world, and to going on treks\/rafting with friends, and everything in between. Encourage that, gibe them your support and don\u2019t make faces if they ask to try some crocodile BBQ. They\u2019re developing their own self, and that\u2019s wonderful!<\/p>\n ? I also warmly recommend that they have someone (that isn\u2019t you) to talk to. Before the trip, and it doesn\u2019t matter if it\u2019s a long trip or a short one, open a channel of communication with someone to which they feel close enough, make sure they can talk anytime they want (considering, of course, the acceptable hours). It\u2019s impossible to describe the effect of one small ventilating conversation, to the teen\u2019s mental state and to the overall family mood and the success of the whole trip.<\/p>\n Social needs:<\/strong><\/p>\n Depends on the teen, of course. But a large percentage on teenagers refuse to ever hear about going abroad with family, and it doesn\u2019t matter if it\u2019s for four days or four years. They refuse, under any circumstance, to be separated from their friend for even an hour. It\u2019s a subject that drags with it arguments and stress and mess. It\u2019s not easy with those teenagers.<\/p>\n ? Talk with them about a trip that includes places\/activities that interest them. Show them you know and accept that they need to be connected to their friends 24\/7, and that\u2019s why you want to ask them how you can<\/strong> go as family, in a way that everyone enjoys. Give them a personal example and use that difficulty to have a deal with them that is based on listening and understanding, and not on \u201cyou\u2019re coming with us and that’s it\u201d. Show them you treat them as mature, show your side openly and sensitively (\u201cit\u2019s very important to me that you come with us, we don\u2019t have much time left with you\u2026 in a second you\u2019ll be going your own way\u201d, or anything that you might be feeling) and let them express themselves.<\/p>\n ? Now, because my son is also this website\u2019s translator (from Hebrew), I have to be very loyal to reality. So I have to add that this sometimes doesn\u2019t work. Sometimes I have to force him (it\u2019s interesting that it doesn\u2019t happen with his younger sister, simply because of her different personality) but I only do it in cases where I know for sure (I know him very well) that moving to a new place will be a better experience\u00a0for him, in the end.<\/p>\n ? I\u2019ll always try to fit the place we\u2019re going to, to my children\u2019s wishes and requests. Hence, we were this year for example in Nepal<\/a> (my 13 years old wanted), we were in Vietnam<\/a> (everyone were into that), in Singapore (my 10 years old\u2019s choice), and in a very specific island in the Philippines<\/a> (to my 16 years old\u2019s request). The plan is to go to Ladakh <\/a>in the summer (everyone wants that, each for their own reasons). On the other hand, if we only did what I<\/strong> wanted, we would now probably be on a mountain top in Kyrgyzstan\u2026<\/p>\n \u2666 The friends at home<\/span>: today that is not a problem. All you need is Wi-Fi. Allow them that freely. And I do mean freely. No making faces, or saying things like \u201cyou\u2019re always on your phone\u201d. Let them go through this process by themselves and understand that the friends at home can wait a moment, because the view from the window right now is something you\u2019ll probably never see again. The more comment on it, the more you\u2019ll find them glued to their screens. You brought them here, and now it\u2019s their choice what they\u2019re going to do with it. And it\u2019s possible they\u2019ll regret later. And that\u2019s also fine, it\u2019s another kind of learning\u2026<\/p>\n \u2666 New friends from the road<\/span>: a wonderful experience. Meeting people from all over the world, all ages, all sorts and colors. Let them, because every person they meet, and it doesn\u2019t matter who or what s\/he is, will enrich their world. Every. One. Let them have deep conversations with people they just now met in a restaurant, these people will listen to them with a very different viewpoint than anyone else (that knows them for a long time) will listen to them with. They\u2019ll enjoy it so much, simply because they can show them their new \u2018self\u2019, the mature, smart, thinking, self. It\u2019s an excellent and important experience in every way and I can\u2019t even describe how vital and teaching it is. Doubtlessly one of the greatest gifts I give my children by living as we do.<\/p>\n ? Do your homework and try to find destinations where it\u2019s easier to make friends; or at least try to balance between those places and places where it\u2019s harder. For instance, in India and Nepal it\u2019s easy to make friends. In Vietnam it\u2019s harder.<\/p>\n ? let them by themselves. Never ever interrupt, don\u2019t try to \u2018matchmake\u2019. They will choose themselves who to connect with and in what language. Let them explore. Out of their need they\u2019ll also find a solution. If they thirst for friends- you can be sure that they\u2019ll find them. And if they want some quiet, your \u2018matchmaking\u2019 will only burden them further.<\/p>\n ? Together with what I wrote here, traveling can also develop their social skills range from the other side: simply to be alone. To be alone and enjoy it. Do things alone, think alone, go alone to a surfing class and come back with a few new friends. All the arc of \u201calone\u201d, including feeling lonely. It\u2019s a part of life, and the ability to feel it and deal with it in a healthy way can be very important. So don\u2019t get worried and don\u2019t run away from it. In my opinion, the ability to deal with it eventually gives a strong feeling of confidence and security and because of that- freedom. Not relying on anyone but themselves. Power.<\/p>\n Exposure to \u2018sensitive\u2019 subjects:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u2666 Hookers in the street, hard drugs, light drugs, tattoos, piercing, drunks in the streets, lots of free alcohol and cigarettes, little children driving motorbikes and scooters, street kids, strip clubs on the same street as your guesthouse, bad offers (\u201cpsst, marijuana\u2026\u201d- drug dealers in India don\u2019t really care how old you are. Even 13 years old is fine), a million free girls with and without swimsuits at the beach, families with small children where the parents sit and smoke pot right next to the babies, Kama-sutra cards in the stack next to the regular cards and more and more and more\u2026- you won\u2019t be able to avoid all those. And even if you don\u2019t see every single one of these things, I promise you\u2019ll see at least a part. I allow my kids to observe everything. I use those sights sometimes, to start a discussion on the subject, depends on the child\u2019s age and on what they raise themselves. I can tell you that I put a lot of thought into how deal with those things. To ignore, try to hide, try to avoid the truth (\u201cmommy what\u2019s that?\u201d \u2013 \u201cah\u2026 nothing. Want some ice-cream?\u201d), or to give them truthful answers. I decided not to hide the truth. Meanwhile, my two private teenagers, maybe because they saw the results and the ugly sides of the above list, really aren\u2019t too excited to try for themselves. I trust them 100%.<\/p>\n \u2666 Their parents and \u201csensitive\u201d subjects- when you go traveling, you go with everything you are, even the things that during the everyday the kids aren\u2019t exposed to. How we deal with tough situations, our passion, our delight, our weaknesses. Go for it. Give them a pick into what kind of people you really are, without the house matters, mom-and-dad\u2019s-driving-services-pvt-ltd office. It\u2019s a wonderful opportunity. Dance, swim, sing, jump in the water, be sexual, be human, be desperate, be happy, be curious, adventurous, cowards. Be everything you are. It\u2019s likely that some of the things you do will be the most embarrassing things your teenagers will experience, but looking back, they\u2019ll appreciate it\uf04a. And if not than your dance in the middle of that street in Bangkok will be a funny family story that will be remembered forever.<\/p>\n \u2666 Condoms, pills and other safety measures- if your teens are sexually active, make sure they have them (especially Condoms), and if not- equip them in advance. And anyway, you can get those everywhere.<\/p>\n Technical needs<\/strong>:<\/p>\n \u2666 Phone, Wi-Fi, Tablet, Mirror, Music player, Earphones, and everything that is a \u2018must\u2019 in their lives. I try as much as possible to fill those needs 100%. I don\u2019t argue, don\u2019t try to show them that \u201cyou can do without\u201d. To me these are small things, which they\u2019ll discover, I\u2019m sure, in some stage of their growth, by themselves, and what more, each one of those things is important to keep them happy.<\/p>\n
\nNot even if we try really hard and even if we\u2019ll be the coolest parents and the sweetest young siblings. It has nothing to do with us.<\/p>\n